When Dreams Grow Up

The Easter sun has set, and the moon now sits in its place, while most are asleep I am one trying to fall asleep. Right when I'm about to drift into my sweet spot, the Lord gently whispers to me, "Remember your dream as a little girl?" Instantly my mind is flooded with sweet memories, and my eyes are dancing in the light of them playing back in front of me.

I love to sing, I know I know this is an absolute shocker to no one. And if you're just now reading this blog, HI! I am a singer and have been since day one. My mom has often reminded me of when I was just a child, wandering around the house singing songs about finding the butter, to my own little ditties to myself about what I was doing at that moment. Soon I found myself in choir, to my first solo of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" in sixth grade, onto musical theatre, and singing on the worship team at church. I remember thinking how much I wanted to become a professional singer, end up in a band, and perform my music night after night. I wanted to be famous and live the musician roadie life. In between the moments, and memories unlocked, I once again heard the Lord whisper to me, "You are your dream grown up". And it hit me, that dream became a reality, with a different bow than I expected on the box. After college I found myself in a band, performing originals and covers with some amazing friends, making an album, and going on tour. It lasted a little while and it was exhilarating, and exhausting all at the same time. We made it a few years and then the "adultier adult" life began for most of us, as we went our separate ways. Little did I know that a few of the band members would come back into my life later to become close friends and work partners! Life went on for about 7 years, I walked through some hard seasons, walked away from the Lord for a little while, and came back into my relationship with him stronger and more aware of His presence. Worship has ignited inside of me more powerfully than I had ever experienced.

Around three years ago, I reconnected with a couple of my former bandmates who had gotten married. After some beautiful moments and events, I ended up helping them with a night of worship at their church, where they were the worship pastors. I had been going to a small church with my fiancé, trying to heal from some hurtful experiences in church. As a result, I hadn't done much worship leading lately. That night, when I helped lead worship, I felt so refreshed! The embers of worship had been reignited, and I finally felt alive again. Stay with me friends, the plane is landing soon.

That is when the dream grew up. When I no longer had the dream focused on me, but instead upon the dreamgiver. It will be two years this fall that I'll have been the Associate Worship Pastor alongside two of my dearest friends as our Worship Pastors in our home church. My dream isn't performing on stage in front of a bunch of fans, no, it's about pouring out my heart to Jesus in worship, leading His kingdom into fellowship with Him, praising Him, and giving Him the glory that He so rightly deserves. It may not pay what a rockstar salary looks like, but it's even better. It's eternal. And it helps to teach those who love Jesus what they will be doing for the rest of eternity when they stand face-to-face with Him. And the beauty is, that when I allowed my dream to grow up, I too began to transform and bloom into exactly who the Lord had planned to be all along, tucked neatly in the center of that little dreaming girl's heart.