Not My Chapter

I think that we all reach a place in our journey where we don't really understand why we are in the place we are in. And or, it doesn't even remotely look like what we thought it would. It's often times difficult to see those around us living and experiencing what our hearts have longed for, for as long as we could remember. We look up to the sky and ask God, "why"? And most times he is silent, like a teacher during a test, present, but silent as they watch us striving to do our best in that moment of struggle. God is always present, but sometimes he will not give us the answer we are desperately trying to get, because there is a lesson to be learned in the struggle of the questions. See, the beautiful thing of our life's story is that no matter what we go through, whether pain, or grief, great success, and great failures; God will always have the final word, and it will be for our good. I read something the other day that said, "Hope is being convinced that you are surrounded and pursued by the goodness of God." There is SO much peace to be found in that. Despite the deep moments of grief, where you don’t think that your heart will ever come up for air, Gods goodness surrounds you in that moment. When the frustration tries to weigh you down and you don't see an ounce of relief, Gods goodness surrounds you. It fights for you in your weakest AND strongest state, reminding you that there is something just beyond the curve in the road of your journey. Psalm 139:1-5 states, “Lord, you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every movement of my heart and soul, and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind. You are so intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book and you know all the words I’m about to speak before I even start a sentence! You know every step I will take before my journey even begins. You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. With your hand of love upon my life, you impart a blessing to me.” Uh hello, can we talk about a cry fest!? Holy smokes y'all. If this didn’t encourage you, give you hope, bring you some form of peace, heck even some joy, you are SO MISSING THE POINT! This is not MY story, it’s HIS story, this is my journey that He is guiding me along, and following closely behind to watch over me. He isn’t in front of me telling me to look out for this pothole, and that loose patch of dirt, no, He is allowing me to walk the path and watch out for those things myself. And if I make a mistake He is quick to come up behind me, help me up, brush the dirt off my shirt, hand me a bandaid for my scraped up knee (cuz let’s be honest, I am not the most graceful person in the world lol) and then continue on forward. The more I look at my life, the more I realize that I don't necessarily want it easy, I want the hardships, I want the pain, and even the tears. I want to learn something in every season of my life, the good, the bad, and the really ugly. And yes, I will probably end up with some battle scars, but those are just proof that I fought through and survived in that season of my journey. So hold your chin up babygirl, hold fast to the hope that your future is secure with the all knowing God, the one who knows every single thought that I will think before I even think about thinking it. This may not be the way you thought, but oh how beautiful it is to just let go, and let God.