New Year; Messier Me

As the year 2022 comes to a close, I found myself meditating on all of the things that have gone on in my life, the good, bad, ugly, and all the in-between. If I'm being honest, I feel like this year has been a good 50/50 for me, absolutely wonderful, and absolutely difficult. I'm not going to lie, I am ready for this year to be over, I am ready for that breath of fresh air as a new year is birthed and new breath is given. But hear me out, I already know 2023 is going to come with its own challenges, hardships, and difficulties; but a clean slate is given and we have the choice of what we will prioritize as it begins.

Ok ok ok, I hear you, "what's up with the title, Ariana?" I am so glad you asked, lemme splain'.

I recently heard a sermon that I've been chewing on for the last week about making room for Jesus. But not just in the clean space you've made for him, but in all of the mess that you've closed off from him because it's embarrassing, shameful, or ugly. *insert cringe factor here*.

See here's the thing, I'm a planner and I loooove to have my ducks all in a row, and I really love having my house clean if I know someone is coming over. But I for sure know I'm not the only one that sometimes just cleans the areas where company will be and allll the other doors are immediately closed because ain't nobody got time for dat! I don't need anyone seeing the dreaded "find a place for it later room", my overstuffed laundry basket ready to explode, or my bras laying on the floor for all to see. But friends, when Jesus comes over, he really really wants to see those "rooms" in your heart, he wants to come in and clean (and sometimes wreck shop) to make room for what he has for us. So with all that being said, I want to, in theory, have a messier year; a year where Jesus has complete control to start purging things from my heart that doesn't need and shouldn't have residency anymore. Things that have become dormant, things that have begun to collect dust and cobwebs, the things that have begun to suffocate the remaining air that's in there. I want room for the light to come in, I want room for things that will give me a fresh, clean, crisp, mountain breath of air that exhilarates me.

I love Psalm 51:6-12 "I know that you delight to set your truth deep in my spirit. So come into the hidden places of my heart and teach me wisdom. Purify my conscience! Make this leper clean again! Wash me in your love until I am pure in heart. Satisfy me in your sweetness, and my song of joy will return. The places you have crushed within me will rejoice in your healing touch. Hide my sins from your face; erase all my guilt by your saving grace. Keep creating in me a clean heart. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you. May you never reject me! May you never take from me your sacred Spirit! Let my passion for life be restored, tasting joy in every breakthrough you bring to me. Hold me close to you with a willing spirit that obeys whatever you say."

I want to highlight a couple of verses that really stuck out to me. One of them is in vs 1 when you allow the lord to come into the hidden places he teaches you wisdom. Who doesn't want more wisdom?! My thoughts? I believe that when we allow the lord into those spaces, it's that vulnerability, transparency, and trust that makes way for wisdom to spring forth. In vs 8 & 12, the word Joy is mentioned, a song of joy returning, and a tasting of joy. When constantly bogged down with stuff in our hearts, it begins to crush the joy, and the sweet-tasting things turn bitter and unsatisfying. Also, the last part of vs 8 shows the beauty of letting the Lord move because even though there is a painful crushing at first, the lord ends it with a. healing touch. How sweet it is to be loved by Jesus yall! All I know is that I personally want my mess outta here asap! My heart's desire is for the Lord to come in and do a full sweep of my heart, every corner, crevice, and angle, from top to bottom! I want my mess in the full light of his goodness so that what was once messy, is now beautifully inviting to him. I want 2023 to have room to make space in my heart because the Lord is the guide of our steps, so the last thing I want is to be tripping over my own mess (especially since I'm not very graceful in general lol)!

As we embark on a new year, my challenge not only to you but to myself is to get messy and unbox all the things we've been keeping in our room for another time. Do it now, let things go, make amends, find forgiveness, find freedom, find healing, bask in the goodness of the Father, in his flowing mercy & grace, and let joy wash over every area of your life. Get messy, and then make room for the King. I promise you it will all be worth it in the end.

Until next year, my friends. May you have a blessed and joyous start to your New Year!

"I will make room for You to do whatever You want to."