Finding Light in the Darkness: Navigating Hope When It Hurts

When I hear the word Hope, I instantly get a swell of emotions; anger, sadness, frustration, longing, a slight bitter taste in my mouth. I know that's not very encouraging, is it? But it's honesty. Hope just hasn't been my favorite word as of late. It's felt very dark, and I'm searching for that light to break forth amid the pain. Searching for even a glimmer. Long-awaited promises that are still in the queue, and I am just standing there listening to the annoying waiting music in a room that feels like it's been on repeat for eternity. "Just hold on, your promise is coming, keep holding onto hope", I hear it repeatedly, and I understand that people mean well when they encourage, but it's just been going in one ear and out the other. I smile and nod when I hear it, but inside I'm screaming that I don't want to hear it! And yet, it still keeps coming, and that word keeps being spoken over my life. Clearly, the Lord doesn't feel like stopping in His reminders with this one, and as much as I don't want to hear it, I'm thankful that those reminders keep coming, despite the circumstances.

It brings me to Proverbs 13:12, "When hope's dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But when at last your dream comes true, life's sweetness will satisfy your soul." I was reading earlier on "Hope Deferred", and something stuck out to me. "What is deferred Hope? We find it mentioned in Proverbs 13:12, and the Passion Translation defines deferred hope as the dream that seems to drag on and on, the delay that can be depressing." If you look further in Strong's Concordance deferred is also defined as drawn out, extended, prolonged, scattered, to stretch out, to delay, shriveled up fruit (yep you read that right), and I'm over here like UH YEA, LORD! That's how I'm feeling, that is most certainly what hope deferred feels like! But here is the sweet part, if you finish the verse, it talks of the sweetness that comes with that dream's arrival. There is so much wisdom in that. Why? Because when we allow the truth to be what we rest on, aka the promise, instead of focusing on the waiting, there is a sweet, secure, and reliable source in which we can rest IN, and that's Jesus.

Honey, He knows. He knows the pain, He knows the hurt, He knows the longing. He was the one who planted that dream and desire inside your very core. Even though it may not seem or feel that way right now, it's a gift. A beautiful, well-thought-out gift that was just for you. And when it's time that gift will come to you, revealing itself most purely. Why? Because Jesus. And He is a promise keeper. I know right now it may seem like it will never happen, but trust me, I'm right there with you. I know that it may feel like that dream will never come, and you will be staring at the queue forever just waiting for your number to be called out. And it will. Just keep holding onto that hope, because that hope is tied to Jesus. I'm learning to embrace that hope, to rejoice in it, to find peace in it. Some days will be harder than others, and some days I may fail miserably, but I know that in the end, I will walk out victoriously with hope, and my dream in hand. And that my friends, will be a testimony of the goodness of God.

Hold onto Hope.