Breaking off the Limits

I had an anxiety attack last night. How's that for a starting line huh?

It's time to be transparent friends, I've struggled with anxiety, and I know to some, me saying this isn't a big deal. But it's a big deal to me because I've been a "closet dealer" of anxiety. I haven't really shared this specific struggle because I didn't think it was all that big of a deal since it's a rare thing that happens to me. But last night I felt it creeping up my body, and I knew it was due to a series of events that led up to it. My husband had been severely sick all week, it was a week of sleepless nights for both of us, finances were tight, the schedule was getting full, the house was in disarray, the laundry was miles high, and slowly the anxiety began to creep in, in the midst of all of it, unbeknownst to me. I was working to fold some of the laundry in our bedroom and all of a sudden my legs began to shake, my chest started getting tight, my hands began to tremble, and I could feel the sting of tears begin to well in my eyes. I knew that within seconds my breathing would get shallow and I quickly called for my husband to come and pray. He came in right as my anxiety attack hit with full force, and without blinking, he began to pray, laid me down on the bed, turned on the fan to cool me down, and got me comfortable. He gently told me to take a break and focus on breathing as I lay there, and let me tell you, friends, having a praying spouse will change things quickly and for the better. Now I want to explain something, this anxiety attack was a build up from a lot that was going on, but even more so, it was a spiritual attack because of things that the Lord had revealed and spoken over me just the night before at one of the Soaking Sessions we had at our church. The enemy was scared and wanted to take me down as hard as he could, but you see, he was messing with the wrong couple. The enemy doesn't have new tricks yall, he just tries to do the same trick with a different spin, and we were already aware of what was happening. Thank God for a praying husband, that's all I've got to say!

Fast forward to today, we had a powerful service at church, from worship all the way to the very end of service. We had a special guest speaker today and he gave a thought-provoking, timely message for all of us. One of the biggest things that's been resonating with me since this morning was this, "Stop limiting God where He hasn't limited Himself." He then spoke on Psalm 78:41, "Again and again they (the Israelites) limited God, preventing Him from blessing them. Continually they turned back from him and provoked the Holy One of Isreal!" We can limit God! That blows my mind! I for one don't want to limit God in anything. On our way home from church today my husband made a comment about how he often times finds himself tucking his thumb into the palm of his hand and clenching it. Not out of anger, or anything on the negative side of things, but it's just a natural thing that he's found he does. And the thought hit me, how many times do we unintentionally clench our fists tightly around what we think is best for us when in reality the Lord is gently trying to pry our hands open to release what we have for something far greater? Someone who I consider a friend and spiritual father said to me that the Lord sees me as a little girl, seeing something in His hand that I want, and so I unashamedly tell the Lord that I want it. It struck me to the core because there have been specific things in my life that I've wanted to ask Him for, and haven't. It's almost like I think that if I let life play out as it does, those things will come to me. But I don't want that, I want to be the brave little girl that the Lord sees me as. Tenacious, unafraid, fully knowing what I want, and trusting that as a Father, if it's for me, it will be given to me when He says it's time. It's time to break off our own limits my friends and to stop limiting what we think God can and will do. That was never in our book, that was never something He intended for us. It's time to let go and let God break the mere limitations that we think are so big, because to Him, they aren't even close to big. It's not worth the anxiety, fear, doubt, control, whatever it may be, it's not worth it. What is worth it, is to break the limitations and watch to see what God is going to do in your life.

I dare you.